Mayhole I'm everywhere
Possum bday cake

Possum bday cake

For abundance

For abundance

Phoenix…ya surprised mewith this one!

Phoenix…ya surprised mewith this one!

Brains and eggs and the cross

Brains and eggs and the cross

I’m not really comfortable eulogizing Hollie Stevens. She always valued her privacy more than most & I don’t wanna dishonor that so I will be short. She made me happy, I loved her & showed my devotion to her as best I knew how, & I feel so incredibly grateful for the amount of time we spent together these last several years & all the laughter. So grateful.

I’m not really comfortable eulogizing Hollie Stevens. She always valued her privacy more than most & I don’t wanna dishonor that so I will be short. She made me happy, I loved her & showed my devotion to her as best I knew how, & I feel so incredibly grateful for the amount of time we spent together these last several years & all the laughter. So grateful.

// writing music or not//

I’ve been improvising much more lately than I ever have in the past. Spending the last 2 months with little access to a piano, other than the hundred year-old out of tune missing keys, communal piano that I had a couple lovely evenings with; has left me feeling a little intimidated by some of the classical pieces I had been delving into when I left the west coast. 

Anyways, since every time I try and play anything formal my brain fills up with angry spiders, I’ve taken to just using the piano as a means for emotional catharsis, intentional dissacociation and healing. Its hard to really remember what I’ve been playing enough to write the music down, but I do seem to retain certain patterns that I’ve found really fulfilling. Basically I just play rhythmic looping patterns until I’m in some sort of trance & then let my fingers play what feels good to my body. Unless I record it, I have little memory of it, other than the muscle memory of certain chord progressions. The muscle memory is really interesting, the connections I make in my brain. Like certain segments I play correlate directly in my mind to trying to get someone off with my fingers, the same rythmn & pressure, & it relaxes my entire body….hence I sometimes have the experience of engaging in some weird pseudo love affairs with pianos, I’m still developing my boundaries around this one.  

// solstice//

Its solstice. I will be worshipping the dirt. And the night. Burning things. 

// so….//

In the next couple of weeks I hope to put some thoughts down so that people can kind of know where I’m at. I’ve been doing a lot of personal growth/work/healing lately and I am planning on making some really big changes in my life, already have really. 

For the last 2 months I’ve been terrified to even open my computer, I purposefully spent the last 2 months camping somewhere with no cell reception & much of the time no electricity. This has been beyond good for my health, mental and physical. It’s given me a long time to sort through the layers of what my life has become and now the time has come for me to start executing some major changes in the way I live my life. 

I’ll try and have some sort of lucid explanation soon enough. 

Lots of love

may 

Athena & @SashaSweetxo . Waffle House Amarillo!

Athena & @SashaSweetxo . Waffle House Amarillo!

We are in “rim country”

We are in “rim country”